Wednesday, June 11, 2008

And now I'm a murderer

That's right, I have taken innocent life. Today on my way to work I mercilessly ran down a poor little squirrel. Some of you are silently berating me, thinking I should have swerved or slammed on the breaks to avoid the poor little guy, but I assure you, there was no time! Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the whole traumatic ordeal occurred in slow motion, with the squirrel in the middle of the four-lane road, darting here and there trying to avoid the cars. He made a mad dash for the safety of the curb but alas, my tires foiled his plans.

I am not really trying to make light of the poor guy's life, I'm just trying to assuage my conscience. If this had happened a year or two ago, I would have had to call in sick and spent the day in bed, crying.

Please have mercy.

3 comments:

Janet said...

Sweetheart, I have been right there with you. Except I was 16 and had been driving for approximately a month. And it was a big dog. In the middle of the 6-lane interstate at RUSH HOUR IN NASHVILLE. I did slam on the brakes (and nearly got rear-ended) and try to swerve, but it was a BIG dog (great dane I think). And what was worse? I didn't kill him. Nope, broke his back legs. I think they probably had to put him down. It's been 30 years and I can still see that dog trying to get up. I didn't get back in the car for 2 months after that, until my stepfather forced me to. (Nothing violent, just bullied me verbally until I got behind the wheel. But I sat in the driveway for an hour and cried. Judge you? Not a chance.

Suldog said...

Squirrels are the hardest to miss. Just when you think they've decided to continue on their way, they reverse direction and run back into your path. I've never hit one (or any animal, that I'm aware, thank God) but if I ever hit a squirrel, it would probably be his own damn fault.

(Oh, I'm Jim, by the way.)

My Ice Cream Diary said...

I hit a bird and had to actually pull it out of my front grill. And I'm the kind of person who said a prayer for every dead animal I passed on the road. UG!