That's right, I have taken innocent life. Today on my way to work I mercilessly ran down a poor little squirrel. Some of you are silently berating me, thinking I should have swerved or slammed on the breaks to avoid the poor little guy, but I assure you, there was no time! Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the whole traumatic ordeal occurred in slow motion, with the squirrel in the middle of the four-lane road, darting here and there trying to avoid the cars. He made a mad dash for the safety of the curb but alas, my tires foiled his plans.
I am not really trying to make light of the poor guy's life, I'm just trying to assuage my conscience. If this had happened a year or two ago, I would have had to call in sick and spent the day in bed, crying.
Please have mercy.