Last night, my dearly beloved was swooping in for a tender kiss when our feet collided and his Ginsu toes hacked a little piece of my middle toe off! He dutifully rushed into the bathroom for first aid and wrapped my poor unsuspecting toe in a bandaid, causing it to look like a pig in a blanket. My toe is so ashamed he won't even let himself be seen in public, causing me to wear big, clonky shoes in the 95 degree weather. Thanks a lot, clumsy toes! (That would be you, Steven).
Homework: Try googling "toenails" and see what kind of weird creatures inhabit our planet.