Otherwise known as "A Post About Random Crap."
One of my favorite (missed) traditions about living in Michigan is the annual church picnic given by my home church in Flint. I'll refrain from mentioning it's name for privacy purposes. I can just imagine Teen People paparazzi storming the place, shoving microphones in my parents' faces and demanding interviews. "We know your daughter knows someone who's related to Justin Timberlake. Give us the story or die!"
Anyway, the church picnic had been held at the pastor's house for years and years. He had a lot of space and a nice pool. We'd barbecue and basically pig out and then burn off all our energy swimming and playing with the dogs and then go home and crash and/or puke. One year, Steve and I were dating when the time for the picnic came around. Joy of joys! My boyfriend gets to see me in a bathing suit for the first time. Definitely a cause for celebration. Or a panic attack. Maybe he sensed my embarrassment, because he proceeded to pick me up, fully clothed, and leap into the pool with me in his arms.
Did I mention that these picnics, though very fun, were somewhat structured events? We'd eat, digest a while, and THEN swim until we passed out from exhaustion. Therefore, I spent the next two hours dripping wet and shivering. Thanks a lot, Steven.
Oh yeah, he also picked up my dad and tossed him in, fully clothed, including his shoes and his wallet.
I just realized that the word "won't" doesn't make any sense. "Can't" is can+not-o+'. "Wouldn't" is would+not-o+'. What the heck is won't?!
I will start saying "willn't" instead.
That is all.