Saturday, January 16, 2010

Brian Regan (aka Merry Christmas to me)

Steven bought me tickets to see the funniest guy in the galaxy, Mr. Brian Regan, as a Christmas gift. Ain't he sweet?

Last night was The Event.

We started out with dinner at Abuelo's, a new (to us) and very yummy Mexican restaurant. We forced ourselves to stop eating after about 2,000 calories (1,200 of said calories consisting of beans) since we were looking forward to a night of uncontrollable laughs and not being escorted from the Orpheum on account of strange belly activity.

Heading to the show, I regaled Steven (and myself) with snippets from Brian's other shows:

I used to love peanut butter… still do. I saw something in the store the other day that I don’t understand, that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean I’m lazy, but... I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know I could go for a sandwich, but uh, I’m not gonna open TWO jars! I can’t be opening and closing all kinds of jars... cleaning, who KNOWS how many knives!?" If you’re that lazy, why not put croutons in there and get the whole sandwich on a spoon. You know, just scoopin’ it out... "Mmm...Oh, scrumptious! I think I’m gonna have another one. Uh, mmmmm... DELECTABLE! As was the first!" Or if you don’t wanna clean the spoon, you put it all in a squeeze bottle. "Mmmm! Lunch and no clean up! Can life get better? I submit that it can NOT!"

ooh, and this one:

They call it softball, makes it sound like it's harmless, you know. You ever take a line shot to the face with a softball? You don't go "Hey, that's Downy Soft. That was like a big ball of cotton! Hey, don't worry about that! That's Blood Light! We're playing softball, we're all going to float around like angels!"

Finally there. Another comedian, Tom Ryan opened up the show. He was funny but...

Here comes the Man. Luckily Steven was able to restrain me before I tossed any of my underthings onto the stage, but it was a close one.

And also? I found myself watching other people reacting to the jokes. People are weird. They laugh and rock back and forth and slap their legs and cry. I'm the type to hold my laughter in (lest I draw attention to myself) and then completely lose control and burst out in hilarity (which sounds an awful lot like a lamb being carried off by a bird of prey and bleating for all it's worth) and laugh and laugh til my cheeks hurt and I have to pee and everyone around is looking at me and somebody asks if I need a doctor and I do but I say no because I just want to keep laughing.

Mmkay, so I'm weird too.

It was funny.

We had a chance to meet him after the show and I said no because what can I possibly say that won't make me sound like a lunatic?

"You're funny, want my undies?" <---most likely to get me divorced

"Ughhhhh." accompanied by drooling. <---most likely to get me committed.

"TAKE LUCK!" or "The big yellow one is the sun!" or "I'm the two-plate guy! Who wants to spot me?!" <---All of which would make sense if you just watch the guy. Youtube is a wonderful place to start, my dears.


Suldog said...

Sounds like you had a great time. Too bad about passing up the opportunity to meet him, though. I'm sure he's used to crazy ladies. Comedian groupies are probably a very interesting bunch :-)

Cricket said...

Just stopped by to say great recommendation. I spent quite a while watching Brian Regan on youtube and enjoyed him immensely. Especially the routine on doctors, which definitely speaks to my own experience.

I tend to be pretty unaware of comedians, new musical groups, etc. I either stumble on things or hear tell and check it out. Thanks.