After a particularly wretched day at work, I've finally found it!
(Cue trumpet fanfare)
I'm gonna be a hype man! Or, to be politically correct, a hype person. What? You don't know what a hype man is? He's the dude that hangs out behind a rapper and repeats some of the words to keep the crowd "hyped up." Sometimes he adds his own little pearls of wisdom, too, something like "Throw your hands up in the air and wave em around like you just don't care." Yeah, I can do that.
Anybody looking for somebody to stand behind you and agree with everything you say? I'm your girl. Yeeeah.
Funny. I'm searching Yahoo jobs and nobody's looking for a hype girl. Ah well, back to the drawing board. Maybe I can be a dog food tester or an oyster floater. Or maybe the guy who cleans sludge off the Mackinac Bridge...