and I come home to find him fast asleep. This is good-it means his pain meds have finally kicked in. Hopefully he'll sleep for a while, and now that I'm home and can attend to his little mewling cries, I feel much better. If his eyelids should begin to flutter I'll be standing by the bed with a cast-iron skillet ready to send him back into oblivion.
Since he's sleeping, I'm doing my best to creep ever so silently through the house. I came home from work wanting desperately to shower. Do you ever just need to wash the filth and disgust of your job away? So anyway, I crept into our room to get my shampoo and other shower items and made my way into the other bathroom. That's right, there are just the two of us and we have two bathrooms. I'll wait while you compose yourself. You know, envy is a horrible thing. Anyway, I took my stuff into "his" bathroom and what greeted me?
Okay, wait a sec. Sometimes I do things just to see if he's paying attention. Like while he's playing a video game, I'll call out, "I think somebody's trying to break in!" in my most horrified voice. Nothing. Or I'll slip something like, "I quit my job and am going to build a spaceship" into a conversation and see what he does. Nothing.
So anyway, the other day I really wanted to make some ice cream. Steve was asleep and I didn't want to wake him with the noisy ice cream maker, so I mixed up all the ingredients and hauled everything into the bathroom. What, you don't make ice cream in YOUR bathroom? Weird. I made sure to drip a few little splotches into the sink and onto the floor to see what he would do. I was hoping he'd think I had caught the bloody flux from some Wal-Mart chicken or something. Once the ice cream was done, I promptly forgot about it. Well, apparently, he never noticed it, or else didn't think anything of his wife leaving weird marks all over the bathroom. However...
when I stepped into the bathroom today I was horrified! I thought he must be bleeding internally or brushing his teeth too hard or having uncontrollable nose bleeds or...is that chocolate?
Yup, my plan backfired. I'll think before I try to freak him out again. At least until he feels better.
P.S. Root canal tomorrow afternoon. Pray for him, okay?