Saturday, June 13, 2009

Why Saturday Should Be A Day of Rest

Saturday: Woke up at 7:44 AM

7:45 AM - Remember that I have to work today! Oh crap! I have to be there at 8:00!

7:46 AM - Put on yesterday's clothes, found lying on the floor. Bless my lucky stars for being a slob.

7:48 AM - No time for coffee. Run out the door. Drive, drive like my life depends on it.

7:50 AM - Red light! Take the time to brush my rats-nest-like hair.

7:53 AM - Arrive at work. A new record: five miles in eight minutes. Patients already waiting at the door!

8:00 AM - Clinic open. God help us.

8:15 AM - Doctor arrives, leisurely walking and cell phone talking. Takes no notice of frazzled, coffee-deprived receptionist.

8:20 AM - No time to pee when I woke up. Start potty dance learned in kindergarten.

8:25 AM - Weird call from patient about mysterious "soiled panties" found in her laundry. Don't know whether to laugh or cry.

8:45 AM - Pharmacist arrives. Patients cheer.

9:00 AM - Start sending out sniper letters. As in: pay your balance before I send out the snipers.

9:24 AM - Curses, patients! Leave so I can pee!

10:00 AM - Boss calls to check up on me.

11:30 AM - Doctor leaves. Darn you, college graduate!

11:31 AM - Potty break. Sweet, sweet relief.

11:35 AM - Wait for pharmacist to leave so I can lock up. Surf, surf the internet.

12:00 PM - Ravenous. Find ancient Riesens in desk drawer. Devour.

1:15 PM - Pharmacist leaves. Praise God.

1:17 PM - Lock up and jet before anything else can befall me.


Eddie Bluelights said...

Your life sounds as caotic as mine!! Life in the fast lane, eh!
Love the reference to potty break - sweet relief! and potty dance - learned in kindergarden.
You have a great sense of humour and I am thrilled to meet another 'nutter' like me. See you've met the other one, Souldog.
Pity I did not know you earlier _ you would have been in my grand national horse race.
Keep them coming ~ I will be a regular visitor.
btw If ever you do leave your hubby, don't go to the Nursing Home, give me a call instead - I'd probably run a mile but there you go! ~ Eddie

Woman in a Window said...

Saturday should be a day of rest. Clearly you are being ripped off! But you're funny!

Granny on the Web said...

Just a normal day then? lol

Love Granny

Ivy and Haley said...

This made me laugh out loud. Hilarious! You have such a great writing style. Thanks for making my afternoon.