Saturday, June 13, 2009

Why Saturday Should Be A Day of Rest

Saturday: Woke up at 7:44 AM

7:45 AM - Remember that I have to work today! Oh crap! I have to be there at 8:00!

7:46 AM - Put on yesterday's clothes, found lying on the floor. Bless my lucky stars for being a slob.

7:48 AM - No time for coffee. Run out the door. Drive, drive like my life depends on it.

7:50 AM - Red light! Take the time to brush my rats-nest-like hair.

7:53 AM - Arrive at work. A new record: five miles in eight minutes. Patients already waiting at the door!

8:00 AM - Clinic open. God help us.

8:15 AM - Doctor arrives, leisurely walking and cell phone talking. Takes no notice of frazzled, coffee-deprived receptionist.

8:20 AM - No time to pee when I woke up. Start potty dance learned in kindergarten.

8:25 AM - Weird call from patient about mysterious "soiled panties" found in her laundry. Don't know whether to laugh or cry.

8:45 AM - Pharmacist arrives. Patients cheer.

9:00 AM - Start sending out sniper letters. As in: pay your balance before I send out the snipers.

9:24 AM - Curses, patients! Leave so I can pee!

10:00 AM - Boss calls to check up on me.

11:30 AM - Doctor leaves. Darn you, college graduate!

11:31 AM - Potty break. Sweet, sweet relief.

11:35 AM - Wait for pharmacist to leave so I can lock up. Surf, surf the internet.

12:00 PM - Ravenous. Find ancient Riesens in desk drawer. Devour.

1:15 PM - Pharmacist leaves. Praise God.

1:17 PM - Lock up and jet before anything else can befall me.

4 comments:

Eddie Bluelights said...

Your life sounds as caotic as mine!! Life in the fast lane, eh!
Love the reference to potty break - sweet relief! and potty dance - learned in kindergarden.
You have a great sense of humour and I am thrilled to meet another 'nutter' like me. See you've met the other one, Souldog.
Pity I did not know you earlier _ you would have been in my grand national horse race.
Keep them coming ~ I will be a regular visitor.
btw If ever you do leave your hubby, don't go to the Nursing Home, give me a call instead - I'd probably run a mile but there you go! ~ Eddie

Woman in a Window said...

Saturday should be a day of rest. Clearly you are being ripped off! But you're funny!

Granny on the Web said...

Just a normal day then? lol

Love Granny

Ivy and Haley said...

This made me laugh out loud. Hilarious! You have such a great writing style. Thanks for making my afternoon.