I have a happy and healthy two year old daughter,
Katharine. She is an amazing
blessing. Without her, I don’t think I
could handle all of this.
Last June, I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. My baby measured at eight weeks. I thought that was the hardest thing I could
go through but the uncertainty here is almost unbearable.
Just after this past Christmas, I found out I was pregnant
again. I was overjoyed but nervous as
well. Every pain was cause for alarm.
Early on, an ultrasound tech noted that my baby had
thickened neck skin which may be an indicator of Down’s Syndrome. I rejected the further testing but then
couldn’t get it out of my head and asked for the screening at my next visit.
My doctor called me and said I had a 10% chance of T18. He explained what it is and what our chances
were. When my husband asked, he told us
he’d never had a patient with this diagnosis come to term.
I am currently 24 weeks pregnant with my daughter, Rebecca
Anne. After further testing, my doctor
has confirmed a diagnosis of T18 with 99% certainty. He referred me to a high-risk pregnancy
specialist who did a 3D ultrasound and told us that our baby has a host of
medical issues (clubbed feet, clenched hands, small kidneys). The most troubling thing though is the fact
that the left side of her heart isn’t developing properly. He started explaining how the heart works,
etc and I stopped him and asked point-blank if she could live. He told me she might live a minute or an hour
after delivery but would almost certainly die on her birthday.
My doctor agreed to do a c-section which might extend her
life a little.
I do believe in prayer and in miracles but every time I go
to the doctor it seems like my hope dies a little more.
At this point, if I can just hold her and tell her that I
love her I will try to be content with that.
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